wankingatthedisco:

[dora voice] SWAGGIE NO SWAGGING

arkhams:

hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry  youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

please allow 5-7 business days before i hand in my homework that was due last monday

laughingnancy:

IS IT A FRIEND CRUSH 

OR IS IT A REAL CRUSH

TEAM PIMP WON THAT WAS FANTASTIC

kingofbear:

when someone says their eyes change colour

rabioheab:

ha ha look at that nerd he just peed his fucking pants

“sir that is a 2 month old baby”

collectyourhearts:

the difference between pizza and your opinion is that i asked for pizza

pizza:

katherlne:

can tumblr user pizza stop commenting on every post involving pizza tho

yeah wtf how annoying is it

hippyjamfest:

I want to join your hardcore band but my mom wants to talk to your mom first

googlehomo:

I only wanna be hot so I can be rude and antisocial and mysterious and get away with it

daftpostpunk:

• post limit gets changed to 150 posts a day
• you can’t google tumblr anymore you must yahoo it
• no more selfies allowed
• blogs with less than 300 followers will be deleted
• heroin will be legalized
• george bush will become president again
• stock market will crash
• korea will blow the US up
• world war 3

nyozeka:

i hope my first child is a dragon